Lets see if I can jog some psychedelic memories here for a moment. Remember those light bulbs covered in heat resistant resin that looked like brightly colored porcupines? They are very important to this story.
Yesterday afternoon, in the midst of trying to prepare for an evening meeting and compose a Pinky and the Brain style report for a Client, I was approached by the small and suspiciously quiet child. She said "clean momma?" And brought her hands up to my eye level.
If a two year old plays in petrolium jelly, her hands look a little like those porcupine lightbulbs. Being an intelligent Mom, I of course asked the right question. "What did you get into?"
"Lotion, Momma." she said, and began to reach for my arm to smear it in. Fortunately petroleum jelly is a lot like lotion, greasy lotion, but the layer I couldn't scrape off her fingers ended up getting absorbed back into her hands or her shirt... I'm not sure which.
"Where did you find this?" I asked calmly. She led me down the hall to the nursery. The first thing I notice is Bombay, the shy kitten licking herself on the back of the chair. She is cleaning an odd looking cream out of her satiny black fur. As the little girl has an attention span that shrinks rapidly when she believes she is going to be in trouble, she excitedly points out the Bombay cat. "Kitty" she says, and then she points under the cradle. "Lotion Kitty!" She exclaims excitedly.
I should explain here, a moment. We have two cats. One Bombay is just now allowing our daughter to place one or two fingers on her back. She usually uses a three feet rule. The other, Zarya could care less what the two year old does to her, as long as the torture resembles petting, and does not cut off air flow.
Zaryas back side was slathered with petroleum jelly, sculpted into shapes and brushed flat along her sides in deft, small handed brush strokes. The container (less than 3 ounces of the gooey stuff) lay, uncapped next to her. She looked up at me from her sleeping position as if to say, "Oh, you're here... get this stuff out of my hair."
Skin is easier to remove petroleum jelly from than half Persian cat fur. Fortunately, the contents of cat lax, the anti-hairball medicine for cats, is almost 90% petroleum jelly. My chances of finding hair balls in my house this month are minimal, and i will forever have an image of my daughters hands, transformed into freaky light bulbs.