My nose twitched. I snuffled, I sniffed. I pressed my knees together and tightened all the right muscles, but the sneeze came anyways. Full bladdered and pregnant, I felt my bladder leak slightly at the same time. Curses. Some things about pregnancy are not only uncomfortable and unfortunate, but also pretty embarrassing.
Its getting to the point where I can't get off the couch without rolling, or getting a push from a helpful, heavier person. I'm laughing about it, but I'm also a little sad. Suddenly, my ability to dress myself is deteriorating. I will spend the next three months stretching to accomplish the most mundane and private tasks.
While the outside is becoming limited, the inside of my body is moving often and in many different directions. In true infant style, these gymnastic displays happen between bedtime and the morning alarm. The cats are afraid of the movement, and tend to vacate their usual resting place the second it twitches. My daughter is fascinated, and presses back at the unusual shapes.
I love them, until a foot, elbow or head thrusts up into my stomach, causing severe and sudden heartburn. Pregnant women are the only creatures on earth who can honestly say they have thought about which need was more important, the need to pee or puke. The last thing you want to have happen at that point and time is to suddenly sneeze.
POST رSCRIPT: I posted this the first time, read it, sneezed and have just changed my pants. I wonder if i add a comment about winning the lottery whether it will come true too?