Thursday, May 22, 2008

Kitty Love and Puppy Promises

Zarya is a creature of great tolerance. She is Kitty extraordinarily patient, especially where the short and rambunctious addition to our household is concerned. Because of some lack of motivation on her part (or simply stupidity) Zarya does not move away fast enough to avoid the loving administrations of Cora.

It is love. It is the same sort of love that children have for their own siblings at this age, that makes them do things like hug them one minute and bite them the next. For the most part, Zarya gets the hugs (not always appreciated).

Sometimes these hugs result in interesting side effects. Uncle Shorty recieved on such side effect the other day. While checking his voice mail, he recieved the following message "get OFF the kitty this instant."

As the phone beeped to tell me to start speaking, I looked up to see a desperate cat head was sticking out from one part of Coras body. She was literally pressing her entire weight down on the 8 lb cat. Its only a 3/1 ratio of weight, but Zarya is also much older (8-9 human years). Kitty actually has bones, not cartiledge and sugar protiens like her human blanket.

Fortunately, uncle Shorty understood I was not yelling at him about squishing my cat. Unfortunately this isn't the only minstrations of love cora has bestowed. In the last week, She decided she could carry zarya. She knows how to pick up the cat. Unfortunately, even with her 3 foot tall mostly leggy body she fails to get the feline all the way off the ground. She decorated zarya with a hair band (cute, very cute). You could see murder in the cats eyes, but she strove to control her temper as I removed her decoration.

Cora also attempted to feed zarya an assortment of human food. Most of which Zarya is not interested in eating (fruit snacks, grapes, fish crackers etc.). Then she "helps" her eat her own food by serving it up on a fork or spoon.

Most shocking (for all involved) was last nights foray into Kitty exploration. Cora located my wood rolling pin, and carried it into the living room. She walked up to my chair. I thought nothing of this. I was talking on the phone to a girlfreind. All of a sudden I catch movement out of the corner of my eye. Zarya, who was up until then trying to rub against my head on the back of the chair had her rear probed with the end of the rolling pin.

The cat yelped, I admonished, and Cora looked genuinely amazed. Evidently the poke was in the nature of an experiment, rather than an outright desire to torture. Its very hard to yell at a child when you are trying not to break down giggling.

Animals aren't exactly always tolerant of experiments. Coras attempt later that evening to turn Zarya into a hat was met with a clawed scalp admonishment by the intended head piece. I know it wasn't painful because tears only flowed once both Mom and Dad failed to show sympathy.

Speaking of sympathy, I won't deserve any if my next scheme works. After a couple big eyed and hopeful requests for her own puppy, I added it to the list of things that Big Girls get. You know, the Big Girls who do not wear diapers, pee and poop in the potty, go to bed on time and use regular glasses. I'm still trying to work in a cooperative trip to the dentist as well.

Oh yeah, I should probably add that big girls don't body slam kittys and shove rolling pins in their "buttons". Perhaps I should mention that dogs feel the same way about the invasion of their personal space.

1 comment:

jpagens said...

Pete has studied enough Japanese to know, so you should ask him about the dreaded 'kancho'. It's the first thing that crossed my mind when reading about that poor kitty.