When one has small children, one acquires certain odors. Today I smell like stale milk. Yesterday afternoon, I smelled like poop. I have reasons for both. Today, my youngest decided to nurse then puke up all over me. This was immediately AFTER I got out of the shower.
Yesterday my two year old returned from a back yard adventure with her pants and diaper in her hands. Her legs and hands were a deep brown color, courtesy of her own poop. She left her (white) shirt on though. "I poop Momma." she told me.
Thank You Miss obvious, I felt like saying. I actually said "I can see that. Stay right where you are." I drew in the voice of absolute command. "Do not come in the house." I finished. There was enough steel in the last six words to make the energizer bunny freeze in his tracks.
In one of those rare moments of inspiration, I realized why I always leave my garden hose hooked up. With a twist of a dial, the poop mess turned into an awfully wet and fun clean up. The smell lingered though, so the two year old got a bath. I didn't. I washed my hands like a doctor would and finished dinner.
I see all sorts of ads depicting stay at home mothers doing a variety of work. These portrayals of pristine dresses dainty high heeled shoes and perfect houses date back to the beginning of media marketing (check out sears and roebucks catalog's from the late 1800's). They make me want to laugh hysterically. They might look like domestic goddesses, but I'll bet my bellybutton they still smell like stale milk and baby poop.