Weekend Morning Schedule Before Children
1. Wake up at 7 AM.
3. Go back to bed. Sleep (or other stuff).
4. Wake up at 11 AM.
5. Get up. Turn on an action flick on TV with suitable violence.
6. Scrounge in the fridge. Eat a slice of leftover pizza and drink diet pop for breakfast.
7. Call friends.
8. Its after noon. Shower.
9. 2 PM. Meet up with friends at the mall for lunch.
Weekend Morning Schedule With Children.
1. Wake up at 3:30AM. Nurse the baby.
2. Pee. Go back to sleep.
3. Wake up at 4:00AM. Cuddle the 2 year old till she stops crying.
4. Change the baby's diaper. Nurse baby for three minutes.
5. Go back to sleep.
6. Wake up at 7:30AM. Feel lucky that you slept in 1/2 an hour.
7. Nurse the baby. Get milk for the 2 year old. Load Coffee maker.
8. 8:00AM. Turn on TV to nickelodeon. Watch 2 year old appropriate Cartoons.
9. Remember to turn on coffeemaker.
10. Fix breakfast for 2 year old (Cereal). Argue over who gets to pour the milk.
11. Remember to plug in coffeemaker. Turn on coffeemaker again.
12. Change two diapers. Make beds. Take 2 minute shower.
13. Get dressed. Get 2 year old dressed. Drink coffee.
14. 10 AM Drink coffee, nurse the baby, and read to the 2 year old, all at the same time.
15. Change diapers. Change your (puke/poop) soiled shirt. Change baby's cloths.
16. 10:30AM Relax.
17. 10:31 AM Chase 2 year old out of fridge or garden. Get her a snack.
18. It is now 11AM. Try and Call friends. Both children start crying.
19. Calm children. Get 2 year old milk to go with snack. Drink Coffee.
20. 11:30AM. Make lunch of chicken salad, fruits and vegis for healthy rounded child growth.
21. Its noon. Do dishes, start laundry. Drink Coffee.
22. 2PM. Meet children's friends at playground. Find another caffeine source.