Thursday, August 7, 2008

Gardening 101

I've been trying to grow tomatos and an herb garden. So far it is going well. I'm also trying to landscape after the removal of our rotting red deck. To do so, I have all sorts of good garden tools, a shovel, gloves and a garden hose. I've been moving dirt, plucking weeds and smoothing surfaces over old post holes. Gardening and landscaping are great hobbies, and best of all you can do them with two small children in attendance and helping. There are just a couple simple rules one must follow.

Rule #1: Do not try and get your two year old to help you use fertilizer sticks. She will invariably eat them, or lick her fingers. This is bad. fertilizer is not made to be eaten.

Rule #2: Plant twice as many of any plant as you want to harvest. My daughter eats my tomatos. She does not, however wait for them to either ripen or make their way in the house. She just plucks them green and pops them into her mouth.

Rule #3: Do not disturb a wasps nest while the two year old is outside and the baby is in the sling on your chest. If you do manage to do so, be wearing shoes, and remember you can run holding two children. I have cuts on my feet from grass and rocks, but in true Mother form, neither child was stung.

Rule #4: Deer, rabbits and small children do not respect your desire to see any plant live to adult hood. Either build a fence or just give up now.

Rule #5: Do not leave the garden hose screwed into the tap. Let me explain. Yesterday, whilst merrily digging away, my back turned to the yard as i worked on the house border, I was the recipient of a scream inducing freezing cold jet of water all over my back. In my infinite stupidity, I assumed the two year old did not know how to turn a garden tap, spray the hose nozzle, and was not brave enough to reach under the thorny rose branches to turn on the water.

Evidently, she understands how to operate a garden hose, tap, nozzle, and to do all of it without Mom seeing her. She also is not afraid of thorny bushes.

The greatest part about being soaking wet, is you don't mind getting splashed when you throw the too smart, too sneaky little stinker in the pool.

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