Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Dictionary of the Pre-School Home.

Lovey: A dirty blanket, stuffed animals (usually non-machine washable), or a toy that a child names, and refuses leave the house without. The loss of a lovey will cause both child and parents to break into tantrums and tears.

Blankey: (a) any blanket that will not cover more than half of an adults body. (b) a lovey, whose sacred substance should not be touched by strangers, even if the child attached to it puts it in their way deliberately.

Kitty: (a) a house cat. (b) a skunk, hopefully outside of the house.

Sippy: A lidded cup usually possessing a stop flow valve, that allows small children to turn the glass upside down with minimal spillage. Note: hurling sippys at objects, or squishing them too much will cause them to leak.

Potty (a) the place you should not be when a two year old declares they have to "go potty" (b) a room with NO privacy.

Pretty: (a) the other adjective the child could have used instead of stinky. (b) something you should not hand over to the child if you ever want to see it again, even if you think its indestructable.

Puppy: (a) any dog like animal regardless of age. (b) a kitty.

Horsy: (a) any animal larger than a great dane that the child is not familiar with. (b) a horse.

Fishy: anything that lives in water and is not a froggy.

Froggy: anything that lives in the water and is not a fishy.

TeeVee: Something children never feel they get enough of, and parents think they get too much of for their health. Note: TV's in parents homes rarely show anything that is not rated less than PG.

Onesy: A long t-shirt that buttons over the crotch of a child, stopping it from riding up when they squirm.

Nukey: a pacifier, see also Paccy, sucky, and dirty.

Crazy: where parents are driven by the vocabulary that ends in the "ee" sound.

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