Thursday, May 29, 2008

Rhubarb is Not All Poisonous

Of course, its important to say that the rhubarb I'm referring to was purchased at a farm market. I'm not speaking out for wild rhubarb. Nobody wants to speak out for wild plants. Their party and vagrant lifestyle does not suit peoples taste in security and identity.

After consulting with Fran (or some other helpful woman at poison control for west Michigan (1-800-222-1222)), I learned that only the leaves and young shoots of rhubarb are really poisonous. its not the poisonous effects (diuretics) that really matter anyways. The leaves produce a horrible glass shard like sensation in the mouth, accompanied by an excessive bitter taste and prolonged throbbing. Fortunately, when you buy the plant at the grocery or market they remove most of the leaves.

In further fortune, my daughter only sampled from the middle of each (and every) stalk before she found the strawberries. Did I mention that I'm making a rhubarb pie today, not the strawberry-rhubarb of original conception? I arrived before the tomatoes were attacked.

Poison control is going to send a child family services representative to my house eventually. Thats my third call this year. It probably will be a good thing. I can point out the easily accessable location of all the candy, cookies and junk food. Then I can show how hard I make it for Cora to get the fruits, vegis and yogurt. Her obsession with plant food makes the back yard look like one big buffet.

Besides, I think the CFS representative for this area's wedding present is still sitting in my closet. It will save me a trip.

Today is...

Today, May 29th, 2008 is the due date of the baby. Currently new baby has all of 8 hrs and 50 minutes to vacate the womb on schedule; less than that if you take into account a precise alignment of conception to delivery. It looks like I'm going to have to evict this one.

Either that or the coming thunderstorms will assist in its delivery. Aren't there some very great people who were born during violent weather? Alexander the Great, Gengis Khan or Napoleon? Cora was a snow storm baby. Gramma will never forgive the weather for delaying her ability to hold her first Grandchild. Grandpa was just glad that someone else wiped out in front of them before they ended up in a snowbank. At least I know where Cora gets her stubborn from.

Today, May 29th, 2008 is the due date of the baby. I woke up at 7:30 AM. I went to the farm market, took Cora for pancakes, bought more tomato cages and went home. We planted five tomatos, a pepper plant and a lettuce box. Cora was very helpful. I checked e-mails, accounts, and made lunch. I paid bills, got snacks, played with my daughter, and now am writing a boring article about daily activities.

The poor ladies at the hardware store, breakfast place and farm market will probably not forgive me. Each asked when I was due, only to step back in apprehension at the answer. People hear "Today" and have visions of having to help deliver babies in weird places.

Cora is trying panties today. She is watching Stitch and occasionally coming over to elongate my left pinkie. In a year my pinkie on one hand will be about an inch longer than the other from all her pulling. This morning she informed her Dad that baby was kicking in her stomach too. She is in for a HUGE concept lesson this week.

Maybe we soften the blow by going to the ice cream shop and park. Socializing provides such great amusement. Somebody will ask when I'm due and I can promptly fake a horrendous contraction and pop a water balloon in my pocket "oh dear...".