Thursday, January 22, 2009

Vacation Adventure #3 (because I teased Nanny about it)

For some strange reason, I decided to take a three year old and a six month old to an art museum. Give me credit for at least finding one with free admissions. The chosen museum, called the Speed Art Museum is located on the University of Louisville campus. The campus itself is in an historic district, with beautiful old brick buildings, and elegant statues.

The visit to the museum actually went well (though fast). Cora enjoyed the impressionist paintings, and the still lifes, which made her hungry. What did not go well was our arrival.

First, I found myself under the road I needed to be on top of to get to the campus. Next I pulled into the parking garage at the museum. I parked and got the kids out of the car, Nyobi in the sling, and Cora in mittens and hat. I have a travel pack, back pack that doubles as a purse and diaper bag as well as a catch all snack buffet for the kids and map holder. For all I know, if I dig around in it long enough I might be able to produce a kitchen sink. I threw the last few Items du- jour into it, and saddled it up over the sling on my back.

This means that with Nyobi, I'm packing about 25 lbs of stuff. Good thing I have hiking boots. I go across a covered walk, out through a park, to the museum doors, no more than 50 feet from the car. They are locked.

The museum doesn't open for another half an hour.

It starts to snow. "No big deal" I think to myself. "I'll go to the information booth and find some other attraction that is open, didn't I read about the planetarium?" I take off through the cold, Cora in tow.

We get to the information booth. The snow is tiny icy pellets and there is a slight wind. The wetness of it saps the heat from your skin faster than the dry cold we came from. Cora is complaining about walking, and the information booth is closed.

Oh well, I think, we'll try the law library. Everyone knows law students study 24/7. I think back to the U of M and U of MN libraries I've visited. This one will have a display on Supreme Court Justice Brandeis. I boost Cora up to my shoulders, and begin walking again. I'm treking the U of Louisville campus with 55 pounds of kids and gear, at least.

This also is closed. No matter, between the Law school and the museum is the regular campus library, and there are students walking up the steps. I join them, seeking some way out of the cold.

At the top of the steps stands one of the desk clerks, he is laughing in amazement at me. "Thats quite a load!" he comments. I chuckle as well.

"Yeah, but at least I know I'm getting my hiking practice." and enter the library. We find our way down the stairs into a basement hall way that is both deserted, and away from the study areas. As I feed Nyobi, and thaw out, Cora demands to use the bathroom.

Please understand, I do not usually give into a three year olds demands. That is bad parenting. However, when a child that age say the word bathroom, manners asside, they cannot wait a minute to use the facilities. You get them there, or clean up the aftermath (see Vacation Adventure #1) I rush her into the deserted bathroom, and send her into the handicap stall to do her business. I sit down on a bench near the door and watch the ankle to knee display of potty ritual, feeding Nyobi the rest of her bottle.

As the potty ritual ends, I glance around the room. It reminds me of any other campus bathroom I've been in. My sucessfully peed out girl pops to the door of her stall with a big "proud of making it on time" smile. I share her joy. Then her smile vanishes.

"I forgot to flush!" she says, and runs back. Suddenly there is an awful high pitched ear splitting siren going off.

My God! A tornado! No, its more like a police car. I pull Nyobis hood up to dull the sound for her, and Cora comes running back and clings to my leg. "What is it Mommy?" she says.

As I glance around, I notice a button on the wall near the door. Its in an attractive blue case, with an attractive red center. Its hung at eye level for my Cora. I peak into the stall Cora used. There on the wall is a similar button. It reads Emergency.

This library has assault buttons in their rest rooms.
"Did you press this to flush?" I ask Cora above the wail.
"Yes!" she says.

Once again loaded up, I climb stairs to the front desk, meeting the desk clerks at the top of the stair case. There, the clerks suggest that Cora and I wait around for the Louisville police to show up. A couple students come out to complain, as I explain and appologize to whomever will listen. The officer quickly goes downstairs and turns off the alarm. After he and the clerks finish chuckling, and explaining in front of everyone how to turn off the alarm, I glance at my watch.

Trust a three year old to find some sort of amusement for me that will take up the rest of 30 minutes. The art museum is open!

As pleasant as the officer was, I could have done without that introduction to the culture of Louisville. Please mark your score cards. Bathrooms two, Cora zero.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Definately Not a Surgeon, but an MD

For her birthday, Cora got the game operation. She thought it was cool! She opened it, and filtered through the money and cards while I was putting the plastic pieces in the person, and the batteries in the back. Powered up and filled with ailments, I drew her attention to the tweezers and buzzy fun. The second I touched the metal tip to the metal edge, his nose lit up and the teeth vibrating nnnnnn noise began.

Cora jumped backwards almost falling off the chair in her efforts to escape. I giggled, and did it again, expecting her to come back in excitement once the initial shock wore off. No such luck. She does not like the buzz. She found a pair of all plastic tweezers in her room and uses those to remove the ailments.

Aside from her fear of minor surgery, she does like doctor stuff. At her three year appointment she cooperated with the doctor, and then proceeded to take the examining instrument, examine her belly button under the flash light, look inside her own pair of surgical gloves, and listen to her own breathing, just like the doctor did.

For some reason the doctor didn't ask me about whether she remembered anything well, or if she was curious. I guess MD stuff is more her style.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not about to start making plans for medical school. Last time I asked Cora what she wanted to be when she grew up she told me she wants to take care of animals "horses, these are funner."

Chances are she will become a shoe designer. She definately loves footwear.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Vacation Adventure #1

I just returned from Kentucky, where in I learned that vacationing with children is exhilerating, exhausting and exciting. We had many adventures, the first started a few hours after we left, while stopping for breakfast at McDonalds. We chose this particular store because it had a play area with a two story childs maze. At first Cora would not go on the maze. Finally her dad and I loured her up to the top, then encouraged her down the slide. Rather her dad did. I was too busy changing the super poopy blow out diaper on Nyobi.

Once she figured out how the play area worked, Cora was enraptured. She was so enraptured that she forgot to break for her own bodily functions until the last possible moment. We rushed to the potty in the play area. It was "temporarily closed" which explained what the dust was doing on the handle.

I grabbed Nyobi and my purse, left the diaper bag and headed to the first door, which went from the play area to the restuarant proper. Why did I need to take my purse and the baby? Because the only time Cora needs to go to the bathroom on vacation are times when Dad is not there. This particular time we met him in the hall to the bathroom, and handed of the babes and my purse.

In the toilet, i boosted cora up onto the seat then took the rather disgusting poop filled panties to swish out and rinse. Somewhere in the middle of rinsing them I gave up, and threw them in the trash. They were beyond saving. Cora wanted to get down and put her pants back on and go back to the play area, but she was smeared with poop, so i told her to stay seated.

She listened as well as she usually does, and whilst I was moistening some papertowels to help clean her up, I heard a loud thwack noise from behind me.

I walked back into the play area holding her. My husband looks up from the clean table, clean happy baby, and asked puzzled "Why are you carrying her?"

"We had a bit of an accident." I said, as Cora lifted her head off my shoulder.

"Woah kid." He said. "You're lip is FAT."

"We fell off the toilet and hit our face. We aren't wearing panties, because we didn't quite make it in time, and it was loose, and we are going to need a bath tonight."

He came over and took the poor girl from me, inspecting her swollen mouth.

"Do you need to go back and clean her up some more because she still kinda smells." He asked.

"No." I answered. "thats me. The poop smell from trying to wash out her panties."

"Where are they?"

"The Trash."

"Hell of a start to the vacation."

"Yeah." I smiled. "Lets leave before the try and figure out who broke the tile on the bathroom floor."

Hopefully she doesn't demand to know where he lady bug underwear are, because I'm NOT going back to get them.