Friday, May 21, 2010

Foam Swords

Yes, I bought my two elder children foam swords.  No, I am not crazy.  I got tired of getting sword fought by overenthusiastic fencers with wooden blades, dowels and sticks.  Foam is softer, squishier and doesn't leave a mark. 

Of course, beating up on eachother gets boring quickly.  While sitting and reading my news, I hear from the bedroom.  "Lets go beat up Mom!" 

"Da!"  says Nyobi.  

I look up to see two small musketeers charging down the hallway.  They attack amidst the screams of their victim.  "Don't step on Anya she's at my feet!  Be careful of Anya!  AAAAAAAAH!" 

I peak out between foam whaps to see what the smallest girl is up to.  Just her head is visible, but the older two girls are avoiding her body.  I go back to my dramatic cries for mercy!  "Quit teaming up on me!"  I add. 

"Anya SAVE me!"  I continue. 

Thats when I feel it.  "OUch!"  

I grab both swords to stop the onstaught and pear down at Anya.  She smiles at me, slobber leaking out of her mouth and proceeds to bite my toe again. 

Foam swords don't protect you from every danger. 

How can three on one be fair?

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Strange Conversations

Yesterday I married two lego people.  I talked about where Gods Garden is, and our job to take care of each other.  I also said  "Please don't eat the garbage can."  and "What did you do with the clothes you were wearing?" 

When you have children, your conversations are often strange and discombobulated with minor distractions.  Sometimes though they are so to the point that they make your heart ache.  Today I witnessed Cora attempting to kill a large fly on my window, with a thirsty stone coaster.  It attracted my attention because of the loud clang the first attempt made. 

"Don't do that!"  I yelled.  Then calmed down a bit. 

"Why?"  she asked impudently. 

"Because the stone will break the window." 

"But its a BIG BUG"  She said. 

"Yes."  I said.  "But it will nto hurt you as much as broken glass.  Beleive me.  Mommy did that once."

Of course I was using a baseball bat and it was a giant mosquito.  She killed it with her hand instead. 

Why am I still imagining her hand through the glass?

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Nature Girl Strikes!

Because of an exceptionally pleasant road trip back from Ludington, we stopped at a rest area. It had scenic overlooks. After we finished making certain Anya was not dieing from some horrible disease (like her constant "bunny in pain" pitched wails broadcast) we relieved some stress by hiking to the overlook.

At the very end of the hike, ten minutes from our car, the restrooms and probably my sanity, Cora announced that she had to pee. "Can you hold it?" I asked.

"No." She answered.

Being a country camping girl, I took a deep breath, handed off the smallest one and proceeded to educate my daughter in the squat/hold position. Once correctly postured and informed, she decided she could not go. She repositioned her outfit and started to hike back to the car.

Not ONE minute later my husband says "look at Cora!" I turn just as she announces. "Gee! I really had to pee after all."

Peeing in the woods is difficult for girls, and a useful skill for you children to know. We praised her. I praised her to my Mom at lunch the next day also.

As the girls played outside and we sat and talked, my Mom interupted me. "She's showing off."

Sure enough there was Cora demonstrating these new skills in the middle of the yard. "Well," I said, turning back to the table. "it was bound to happen."

"Um," My Mom said. "She's not done."

I'm so blessed to have children who make it necessary for me to poop scoop my yard.